Hepatitis Forums
Hepatitis C Main Forums => Living with Hepatitis C => Topic started by: Elliott79 on December 23, 2015, 11:01:49 am
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Hi everyone, I have just found out I am pregnant and I have hep c but my partner doesn't know and I don't want him to know. My question is can I go through the pregnancy without having to tell him,I am so scared of him finding out and leaving me or hating me I really don't know what to do x
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Hi everyone, I have just found out I am pregnant and I have hep c but my partner doesn't know and I don't want him to know. My question is can I go through the pregnancy without having to tell him,I am so scared of him finding out and leaving me or hating me I really don't know what to do x
Elliott79
I hope that Lucida chimes in for you because, she is a global moderator of this site, an RN and a fantastic blogger and voice for HCV. Read her blog http://www.hepmag.com/articles/hepatitis_c_pregnant_2502_26893.shtml...I think you will find it helpful.
You have a complicated situation. Please understand you have friends here. Your fear of disclosing to the father is a tough one and a subject for someone closer to what you are experiencing than I. I hope that you are able to discuss this with him, you need that support right now and also the relief. HCV is curable. The stigmas that follow the disease are due to a lack of education about the disease. If ever there was a time to be upfront about it is now.
Again someone will speak up soon and it is important that you find someone that you trust to discuss. Truly, HCV is no longer a big deal and about 200 million people worldwide have it.
Good luck...you are going to be OK. peace
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Thank you for your reassuring reply
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hang in there. This is a very important topic and one that others are dealing with. I expect this thread to explode with encouragement, suggestions and moral support over the next several days. The good news for you is that, as tough as it is, it could not have happened at a better time. Please discuss with your Doctor and see if you can find a support group for pregnant women in similar situations. Take a deep breath and know that there are solutions. All I know is that in life; sometimes the people we are most afraid to disclose uncomfortable information to, can turn out to be the most supportive. Be strong. One day you will look back on this and it will seem like only a ripple in your path. :)
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Thank you so much
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Welcome to the forums, Elliott79! :) And ditto to all that Beto has said in response to your problem. Most of us here are well acquainted with the fear/dread/reluctance to disclose our Hep C status to others. Many of us have lived with this illness in secret for decades, telling no one or nearly no one.
I think in the long run you and your baby will be better off if you can find a way to tell your partner you have Hep C. Even just from a logistical standpoint, it will be hard for you to keep it from him once you are on treatment (which I realize you won't likely do until after the baby is born).
As Beto said, Hep C is something that can now be cured - and with just a few weeks/months of pills. So really, for you right now, the Hep C is not a problem. You will get cured after the baby is born and you are able to start treatment.
Keep us posted, and good luck!
kim
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Dear Elliott,
I love this forum and the input from others, especially the suggestion that you seek advice from someone closer to us - we are strangers - kind, compassionate ones, but still strangers. We know how to live with hep C. We can help with that.
Your partner is at less risk than your baby, but both are low. Personally, I have found it is easier to live with the truth. Right now you live with 2 burdens - hep C and the secret about it. You can unburden yourself of at least one of these weights, but since I know nothing about you or your partner, I speak only hypothetically.
I am sorry you are going through this. Please lean on us if it helps.
Lucinda
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I really am leaning towards telling him now after reading all these amazing responses
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Can't add anything to what has been said. I just wanted to wish you good luck and congratulations on your soon to be here little one.
wishing you the warmest of Holidays
Lynn
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Thank you
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Unknowingly, I had my second child while I had hep c. She was not born with the virus. It's tough, and there were many fingers crossed when she had the blood test to determine that.
All the best for your decision.
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Hi Elliott79,
How overwhelming to discover both those things at once. I hope you're going okay. I do know that it can be scary to think about telling someone that you have Hep C. I also know that in relationships people can feel bad that they weren't told the truth earlier. It's important that you feel safe telling him though.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. When will s/he be born?
Hazel
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Thank you, the baby is due in August
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If you do decide to tell him, let us know if you need facts, such as: His risk of contracting hep C from you is pretty much zero (unless you were having sex with knives and chainsaws, then all bets are off), And the risk to your baby is 5 to 6 % (unless you have HIV, then it is higher), and then hep C is treatable.
If there is shame around how you got it, I hope you find a way to let the shame heal. Few things are more painful and more unnecessary than than shame.
We're here if you need us.
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I really am leaning towards telling him now after reading all these amazing responses
Elliott...Welcome! I cannot add to the wisdom already posted by others, but want to wish you the best in whatever your decision may be. HCV has so much stigma (and often shame and Lucinda mentioned) making it so difficult to disclose to others...even to folks we care about and care about us. For me...telling others was a like lifting a weight off my shoulders, but everyone and every situation is different.
Happy Holidays to you (and your little one). You will get through this experience and it will make you stronger in the long run.
Mary
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Thank you everyone for your kind words
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Hi Elliot79,
Disclosing my HCV status was the hardest part for me. I felt a lot of shame and was fearful of rejection.
If you're in an intimate relationship, however, it is best to disclose, as there is a potential risk of transmission to your partner (though very low).
You need to ask yourself some questions: Would I want to know if my partner had HCV and we were being intimate? How would I feel if my partner knowingly put me at risk for contracting a serious disease and didn't tell me? Could I ever trust that person again? What if my child is born with HCV (there's a 5-6% chance)? How would I explain this to the father?
These are tough questions. However, you really need to answer them.
Best wishes, Mike
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What you need to be concerned more about is that your baby will probably have hep c as well. Since this is a blood born virus your baby shares your same blood. i know because i was pregnant and had Hep C for 36 years and didn't know it and my son was born. Fast forward found out when my son was 21 he had Hep C from me, and we both did treatment and are virus free. If your partner doesn't understand this, then educate him as well as yourself. First of all get yourself a good Hepatologist and get testted with a HCV RNA test to make sure you actually have an active virus. Then you can proceed with treatment after your baby is born. The baby may be able to clear the virus on it's own, but will also need to be tested as well.. Good luck and please act on this now, don't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Statistically there is only around a 6% chance the child will be born with hep c. There are some factors that increase that number, for example a concurrent hiv/HCV diagnosis, but generally it sits around that number.
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The baby doesn't share the same blood as you - he or she can only acquire the virus at birth from being cut or nicked - this is what they know now that they didn't know when my son was born. I spoke with a specialist Hep C midwife just a few weeks ago. The 6% chance takes into consideration the caesarian births and the use of forceps and scalp electrodes - all of which have an increased chance of nicking the babies skin. A normal vaginal birth has considerably less than a 6% chance. Breast feeding does not pass the virus on, unless you have cracked and bleeding nipples and the baby is teething for example. There is a very good chance that the baby will not acquire Hep C, and this chance is increased if you have a Hep C specialist midwife who monitors and averts risk through the birth. This is not to say that it is not important that you tell your partner for the sake of your relationship and family. I wonder where you are in the world, as I'm sure there would be people who can support you through doing this, or thinking it through at least?
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Great info in that answer. Thanks Hazel!