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Author Topic: Frustrated with myself  (Read 12296 times)

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Offline BattleTheBeast

  • Member
  • Posts: 817
  • Female, 57 - SVR12 as of 7/23/15!!
Frustrated with myself
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:04:34 am »
Hi All,

Well here we go again, up all night itching after working all day, being totally positive with my attitude after a little kick in the mental butt from someone. Did all I should do, worked through the back pain, walked it off when I could or heated it and took care of as needed but refused to let it stop me from being positive and functioning. I'm completely exhausted now. Have to drive to the doctor about an hour away at 9 am to discuss options and ideas regarding this crazy pain stuff happening. I can't miss the appointment and won't. I somehow need to get this doctor to understand the pain that I am in and help me figure out what is causing it, the back pain gets so intense I can't even stand at times; this is so not me and not normal. I want my life back! I want to function like a normal person. I don't know what is causing this in the lower half of my body but I do know the more I go without a normal schedule and decent sleep each night the more intense the pain gets. Right now I could scream!!

However I refuse to cave in and am going to lay down with heat on it for the next 2 hours. I'm so frustrated because I am trying so hard to stay positive and be a positive person but my crazy pained sleepless body is not cooperating at all! I even took 50mg of the atarax for the intense itch around 10:30 PM in hopes it would help put me out. All I have ended up with is a long night of intense itch and crappy pain.

It's mind control and I can't get my mind in control of what's happening in my body and that is pissing me off and makes me a not so nice person!! It's all crazy because in my head I know what I need to do but my body won't let me do it!

Not liking my tired, itchy, aching, cranky, miserable self right now but I am done ranting and raving, thank you for listening.

FYI; my pain issues are not because of my treatment with S/O - my issues were there before treatment just getting worse. Honestly my body almost collapsing completely is what lead to my Hep C diagnosis. So I wasn't doing so hot before I started the S/O and I just can't seem to be able to crawl out of this hole I am in.

~Mel~

Rested for a bit and decided I might as well get up and get moving. I decided to treat myself and broke out the French Press and my favorite Cafe Brit Coffee from Costa Rica, Wow does it taste good, you just can't compare it with a K Cup. It's more messy to clean up but it's an amazing treat to start my day in a positive way!
I hope each of you has a positive day and don't forget to do something nice for someone else, it's helps when you make someone else smile.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 06:55:46 am by BattleTheBeast »
~Mel~
Hep C, Type 1, 10/11  viral load 8,238,340, AST-60, ALT-57 Bili .6  Stage 4 cirrhosis,
Week 4 VL <15 AST 20 - ALT 27 Bili .9
Week 9 - switched to Harvoni VL UD!! AST 20 ALT 19

EOT date is 4/30/2015,
SVR 12 is 7/23/15 ACHIEVED!!! 
and SVR 24 ACHIEVED!!

Offline Doluska

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2014, 09:44:08 am »
Dear Mel! Sorry You are suffering and frustrated! Just a hint: did You try antidepressant? All the symptoms of pain, insomnia, feeling powerless - it could be part of depression. Ask your MD. And I personally think that you are very strong! Good luck! D

Offline BattleTheBeast

  • Member
  • Posts: 817
  • Female, 57 - SVR12 as of 7/23/15!!
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2014, 10:16:58 am »
Thanks Doluska,

Antidepressants and I aren't friends. I have been down that road a few times and I end up getting these weird electric shocks in my brain. Apparently I have plenty of serotonin :) I do normally use a UV light but being on olysio it's not a good idea. Hopefully I can get moved over to Harvoni and get the Vitamin D level moving up. That helps my mood, honestly it's the pain that's kicking my butt and no one seems to be listening but I'm at my pain dr right now and about to have a pain meltdown so he's going to have to do something!!

they are so focused on beating the Hep they aren't hearing me tell them something else is wrong.

~Mel~
~Mel~
Hep C, Type 1, 10/11  viral load 8,238,340, AST-60, ALT-57 Bili .6  Stage 4 cirrhosis,
Week 4 VL <15 AST 20 - ALT 27 Bili .9
Week 9 - switched to Harvoni VL UD!! AST 20 ALT 19

EOT date is 4/30/2015,
SVR 12 is 7/23/15 ACHIEVED!!! 
and SVR 24 ACHIEVED!!

Offline ma snart

  • Member
  • Posts: 65
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2014, 10:26:48 am »
Hi Mel, I think I read that you are or have moved to Harvoni in the last few days?
If so, Helen had some severe itching the first few days and it has gradually subsided, she also was having lots of pain in joints, bones, ect, doctor put her on 7.5 percoset and that has stopped the pains.
She is only having nausea problems now on day 11, we are moving her med time to 7 pm from 1 pm and going to try that for a while, so at least she is home when the nausea kicks in.
Hang in there you  are strong and we are with you on this journey.
Snart
Helen 54 yr old female
Geno 1B since 84 from transfusion
started Harvoni on 11-22-14 with 8.5 million viral
After 8 days 933 viral and normal AST and ALT
Week 10 viral load  UNDETECTED
Week 17    detected 19
Week 18    detected 21
Week 20    UNDETECTED   Doctor did prescribe Ribavirin, but have not taken it yet as we are thinking that weeks 17,18 had to have been mishandled.
All other test have shown normal levels.
Week 21 results  on Tuesday 4-21
Week 4 post Harvoni 24 week plan UNDETECTED!!

Offline BattleTheBeast

  • Member
  • Posts: 817
  • Female, 57 - SVR12 as of 7/23/15!!
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2014, 10:31:02 am »
I'm still on S/O- a move like this one isn't going to happen overnight :( I'm reacting to the Olysio so just need patience. There's something else going on with me and it's causing extreme lower back pain and extreme aching in my legs. Trying to figure it out but it's making my life challenging right now.
~Mel~
Hep C, Type 1, 10/11  viral load 8,238,340, AST-60, ALT-57 Bili .6  Stage 4 cirrhosis,
Week 4 VL <15 AST 20 - ALT 27 Bili .9
Week 9 - switched to Harvoni VL UD!! AST 20 ALT 19

EOT date is 4/30/2015,
SVR 12 is 7/23/15 ACHIEVED!!! 
and SVR 24 ACHIEVED!!

Offline Doluska

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2014, 10:33:36 am »
Hi Snart! Taking it at PM brings danger of insomnia. Try banana after taking the pill. D

Offline ma snart

  • Member
  • Posts: 65
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2014, 10:44:02 am »
Doluska Thanks for the tip
Helen 54 yr old female
Geno 1B since 84 from transfusion
started Harvoni on 11-22-14 with 8.5 million viral
After 8 days 933 viral and normal AST and ALT
Week 10 viral load  UNDETECTED
Week 17    detected 19
Week 18    detected 21
Week 20    UNDETECTED   Doctor did prescribe Ribavirin, but have not taken it yet as we are thinking that weeks 17,18 had to have been mishandled.
All other test have shown normal levels.
Week 21 results  on Tuesday 4-21
Week 4 post Harvoni 24 week plan UNDETECTED!!

Offline ma snart

  • Member
  • Posts: 65
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2014, 10:46:18 am »
Hang tough Mel!!!!!
Helen 54 yr old female
Geno 1B since 84 from transfusion
started Harvoni on 11-22-14 with 8.5 million viral
After 8 days 933 viral and normal AST and ALT
Week 10 viral load  UNDETECTED
Week 17    detected 19
Week 18    detected 21
Week 20    UNDETECTED   Doctor did prescribe Ribavirin, but have not taken it yet as we are thinking that weeks 17,18 had to have been mishandled.
All other test have shown normal levels.
Week 21 results  on Tuesday 4-21
Week 4 post Harvoni 24 week plan UNDETECTED!!

Offline BattleTheBeast

  • Member
  • Posts: 817
  • Female, 57 - SVR12 as of 7/23/15!!
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2014, 11:08:17 am »
Oh I am - still sitting at my doctors office about to get another ultrasound. I need to crazy pain to stop!!
~Mel~
Hep C, Type 1, 10/11  viral load 8,238,340, AST-60, ALT-57 Bili .6  Stage 4 cirrhosis,
Week 4 VL <15 AST 20 - ALT 27 Bili .9
Week 9 - switched to Harvoni VL UD!! AST 20 ALT 19

EOT date is 4/30/2015,
SVR 12 is 7/23/15 ACHIEVED!!! 
and SVR 24 ACHIEVED!!

Offline JillLynn

  • Member
  • Posts: 205
  • contracted 1973/ peg/rib 1999 & 2004/on harvoni
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2014, 11:22:55 am »
DARN IT MEL!   I am so sorry to hear this.    I'm sending all kinds of healing thoughts your way!

Offline BattleTheBeast

  • Member
  • Posts: 817
  • Female, 57 - SVR12 as of 7/23/15!!
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2014, 11:45:09 am »
I know right? I've had more crap poked prodded investigated and they still can't figure it out and the latest is maybe you have a bad back?? How could I get all of this all at once? Is my body on strike as in strike and attack me??

Still waiting to see what he's going to have me do next, I just want to use the hour plus drive home and use my heated seats on my back, it hurts!!!
~Mel~
Hep C, Type 1, 10/11  viral load 8,238,340, AST-60, ALT-57 Bili .6  Stage 4 cirrhosis,
Week 4 VL <15 AST 20 - ALT 27 Bili .9
Week 9 - switched to Harvoni VL UD!! AST 20 ALT 19

EOT date is 4/30/2015,
SVR 12 is 7/23/15 ACHIEVED!!! 
and SVR 24 ACHIEVED!!

Offline CE

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
  • Genotype 3. Sovaldi & Ribavirin 24 weeks.
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2014, 09:17:02 pm »
Have you tried a chiropractor? You could just need a realignment. Any severe pain will cause anxiety and depression. My son suffered with severe back pain for 3 months and the doctor just kept telling him to take pain meds. He was actually crawling up stairs it was so bad. He finally went to a chiropractor. After 4 treatments, he is free of pain. No meds!
I wish you well, try to stay positive. I know that is easier said than done, but you can do it!
Chris :)
Diagnosed July 2014
Genotype 3
Viral load of 950,000
Most likely from blood transfusion in 1978
Treatment started November 2014
Sovaldi and Ribavirin for 24 weeks
End of treatment April 2015
SVR12 July 2015!!!!!!
SVR24 October 2015!!!!!
Cured!!!! Praise the Lord!!

Offline trapper

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2014, 09:46:10 pm »
mel  hows your lower back dics.  I sometimes have those symptons and they are coming from my lower back problems.  Have they checked your kidneys?  Later  trapper

Offline Rubye

  • Member
  • Posts: 130
Re: Frustrated with myself
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2014, 02:16:15 am »
Mel, how did things turn out with the ultrasound and the doctor? Are you alright?

I'm the same way with the anti-depressants. They make my head feel really large and I get paranoid. Ah well... I avoid taking the Zofran every day because it has something to do with serotonin.

Anyway, I hope you are at home sleeping/resting and free of the itching for a bit.

 


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