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Author Topic: Finding a partner and sharing a house  (Read 4333 times)

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Offline JH777

  • Newbie
  • Posts: 1
Finding a partner and sharing a house
« on: March 12, 2017, 10:39:53 pm »
Hello all! I was diagnosed with hep B 11 years ago, when I was 18, and was identified as a chronic carrier. It seems very likely I caught it from my mother during pregnancy as both she and my dad had it when I was conceived (but both cleared it). As I was a baby when I caught it, I went on to develop it chronically.

I actually had a boyfriend at the time who I've been with until now, so find myself single again and looking at the prospect in a few months of perhaps looking for another partner. I've also moved back with my parents temporarily but will look for a new place soon.

I have two big concerns:

Firstly, the thought of finding a new partner but having to tell them I have hep B first is, frankly, terrifying. I know I have a moral obligation to do so, and would probably have to go on a few dates first before I decide to tell them and then potentially sleep with them (if they've been vaccinated or decide to accept the low risk until they get vaccinated). The docs did say my chance of passing it on is very low, but it's theoretically possible even if I use protection, so I will of course tell people.

I just don't know how to cope with it really... To be honest, and I know this probably sounds flippant or irresponsible, but if I didn't have hep B right now I'd probably just be casually sleeping with people before I settle down again. But, this just doesn't seem like an option at all. Can I really meet someone in a bar and then say, "Oh by the way, I have hepatitis B. It's unlikely but I may pass it on if we have sex unless you're vaccinated." I guess it's possible, but I can imagine most people running a mile if I said that. Of course I would tell people but I feel like I'd rather just not sleep with anyone (unless I get to know them better first) because it seems to hard to have to tell anyone otherwise.

The other thing is, and this is almost more difficult in a way, is that up to now I haven't had to worry about telling my household about my condition as I just lived with my boyfriend and told him about my status so he was vaccinated. But now, I would have to live with roommates because I couldn't afford my own place. The docs say I'd have to inform anyone I'm living with so they could be vaccinated (I guess in case I cut myself or something and someone happened to come into contact with my blood, say).

But, how do I bring this up with people I don't really know and who I'm trying to move in with? "Hi, I'd like to live with you guys but I have this infectious disease so you're all going to have to get vaccinated." It just seems impossible, I don't know how I can do it. No one would want to live with me, surely, when they could easily find someone else who isn't infected.

My latest results, for reference, show the following:

Hepatitis B viral load 3735 IU/ml

Hepatitis B surface antigen: Detected

Hepatitis B 'e' antibody: Detected

Hepatitis B 'e' antigen: NOT detected

Thank you so much in advance to anyone who can give me any moral support, advice or perhaps share their own experience in these matters. I'm feeling pretty low about it right now.

Offline Lynn K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 4,534
  • Get tested, get treated, get cured, fight Hep c!
Re: Finding a partner and sharing a house
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2017, 08:03:31 pm »
Yes unfortunately that is how it is being infected with an illness we cannot live our lives as others do.

I had hep c and was single I would be at a club drinking soda and being asked about that.

Then when to disclose and how to disclose always a concern.

Does you doctor know of a support group in your area? Maybe you could search the web for a support group near you. Who knows maybe you could even meet possible roommates there. I suppose there is no way you can afford your own place?

Best of luck to you hang in there
Genotype 1a
1978 contracted, 1990 Dx
1995 Intron A failed
2001 Interferon Riba null response
2003 Pegintron Riba trial med null response
2008 F4 Cirrhosis Bx
2014 12 week Sov/Oly relapse
10/14 fibroscan 27 PLT 96
2014 24 weeks Harvoni 15 weeks Riba
5/4/15 EOT not detected, ALT 21, AST 20
4 week post not detected, ALT 26, AST 28
12 week post NOT DETECTED (07/27/15)
ALT 29, AST 27 PLT 92
24 week post NOT DETECTED! (10/19/15)
44 weeks (3/11/16)  fibroscan 33, PLT 111, HCV NOT DETECTED!

Offline lporterrn

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,969
  • LucindaPorterRN
    • LucindaPorterRN
Re: Finding a partner and sharing a house
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2017, 11:49:18 am »
Yes, disclosure is somewhat of a delicate matter. However, vaccination is so critical, that you may be saving lives by bringing it up. Here is a link to an article on disclosure: https://www.hepmag.com/article/romance-air-take-deep-breath-disclose

Hope it goes well!
Lucinda Porter, RN
1988 Contracted HCV
1997 Interferon nonresponder
2003 PEG + ribavirin responder-relapser
2013 Cured (Harvoni + ribavirin clinical trial)


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