2 weeks eot anxiety

[moma]

2 week post Harvoni treatment. Still no energy, crying, scared and feeling totally disconnected from my body. I feel like I won't be able to come back from this because all the energy has been drained out. Being undetected at the eot didn't have the high I thought it would. My brain went immediately to the months and years to come of blood test and the anxiety of anticipating the virus returning.
I got my ultra sound results. It said there are cysts (plural) on my liver. Never had those before. Just put them in that little box in the corner of my head that contains gallstones, heart attacks (2), high blood sugar, hypertension, arthritis in hips, hormones that have been screwed up for decades due to a unnecessary surgery, not to mention all the pharmaceutical drugs this body has had to fight it's way back from over the years.
Wow-poor me! Don't mean to sound like a whiner, I just can't find anything to hang on to that will pull me out of this negative hole. I know the usual meditate, exercise etc. I wake each morning hoping to be out of this Harvoni hang over. Or has this body just had enough?  Why did I subject myself to this treatment not knowing if it would work or not? When will it be out of our system, if ever? Right now I fear the lasting repercussions of this drug more than the hepc.
Sounding paranoid, SORRY, MoMa

[Mike]

Hi Moma,

There are a lot of ups and downs with HCV.

I would try to focus on the fact that you were undetected at EOT. That's great news.

The medication will wear off and you'll start feeling better.

I don't think the problem is that you don't have "anything to hang on to." Rather, you need to "let go" of all the negatives.

We all have that little voice in the back of our heads - you, know, the one that says "that won't work" "you can't do that." and so on.

Whenever that little voice starts speaking, tell it to "Shout up! Stop!"

It's called "Stinking Thinking" and it has ruined many a good day.

Best wishes, Mike

[moma]

Thanks for the pep talk Mike. I'm usually not this negative. Just been a little freaked out lately wanting to feel good NOW. The Sierra's are beautiful today so I took a walk and that helped.
Thank you again, your very kind.
MoMa

[Makena]

Good Morning Moma, I read your post and saw a reflection of me in the mirror about 10 years ago.  I have really had to work hard to breath and claim my own life.  Having a daughter w/ autism and all that goes with having HCV has been taxing to put it mildly.  I read a lot and have not owned a TV, can't handle the mass tech.  I truly do not want to be connected to much more than music and nature.  Anyway, I am going to recommend an easy to read book that is both a life line and has a mood elevator.  "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway".  Your choice of course.  I really want to see you feeling your own power.  Peace and Much Joy. Makena

[atomic dog]

Hang in there Moma. You're right where you wanted to be before you started treatment. Some folks report lingering "side effects" or whatever, but it's better than HCV, right? And there's a chance your liver will heal, at least partially, and will handle sugar better, so your glucose levels are easier to handle, the glass tones won't worsen.